I am not a mother

I am not a mother

It is a shortcoming
I have not been able to fill

I grieve over it
desiring so much to have a child of my own

But God did not consider
that a gift to be mine

God gave me pets .... kittens
and puppies and bunnies
to love, to nurture, to give me joy

They were and are my children
I was and am their mommy

But its not the same
And even though God has given
And God has said

Someone else can come along
and remind you
of your shortcomings
of what you don't have
of what you aren't

I am not a mother
I have no human child
to call my own
No child to which I gave birth
or adopted
or fostered
or miscarried
or buried

I am not a mother.

To call myself one
is a lie.
I have taken something
that belongs to another

I have no right
I am not real

I am not a mother.

God sees
But another does not
God sees it all,
good and bad
truths and untruths
But another's perception
determines
what is more important
what is real

I am not real

I am not a mother

(c) May 16, 2012

God's Love

God's love
created us
and for a little while we enjoyed the relationship
but then we rebelled against His influence,
we let temptation rule
we sinned.

God's love
sought us
and for a little while we enjoyed the attention
but then we pursued personal desires
and our actions grieved Him greatly.

God's love
saved us
and for a little while we enjoyed the security
but then we desired more and bigger and greater
and all we had was never enough.

God's love
healed us
and for a little while we enjoyed restored health and well-being
but then we denied His touch and His instruction
and we fell.

God's love
follows us
precedes us
surrounds us

and where are we?

Even as believers in Christ
we fail
None are perfect
We make errors in judgment
in anger

Don't say you don't
Don't say you live a perfect life.
You do not.

Only Jesus is
The Perfect One.

God's love
took His Son to the cross
and for a little while He was separated
from His Father as He gave His life
for the sins of me and you.

God's love
buried us
and for a little while we too are separated
from Him
but then Jesus rose from the dead,
and with Him, we too rise
to newness of life.
Pursuing as He pursues,
living as He lives
is our hope.

(c) May 16, 2012