I can pray for you

I give up.

I stay away
I tire of all the relentless garbage spewing
that slaughters another and another still
in word and deed.

I am distressed.

I pray.

My thoughts are not God’s thoughts.
He knows all.
I only have perceptions
and those I fear are cockeyed.

I pray for direction
I pray for advice
I pray for words to say
but my response is silent.
Silent still.

Escape –
from responsibility
and
Freedom --
to appease one’s appetite and devour another
as the lion lies in wait for the kill.

Do not reproach me.

This is who I am.
I deserve to be happy.
I can be whoever I want to be.
Do not be confused.
It is not all about you.
I have feelings too

Don’t tell me what you think.
What do you know!?
Lies. All lies.
I know what you want,
but it’s not about you.
I don’t need you.
Your friendship is misguided.
Your loving embrace fulfills deep longings
but it doesn’t last.
I don’t want you.
I deserve to be happy.
I deserve to have fun.
I deserve to not be tied down.

Evil invades this space
What is one moment so good
is a split second later so bad.

There is no trust.
There is no honor.
There is no love.
One rises against another.

The worldly door of uncleanness, hatred, contention, wrath, selfishness, drunkenness, idolatry, sex
has opened possibilities to you
and
you have no time to devote to patience or kindness or gentleness or goodness or faithfulness.

Joy is in the moment.
Peace is the absence of noise.
Love is highly overrated.

You know.

You turn people away.
You say, I don’t need you.
I don’t care.
Get out of my life.

But I will pray.

My thoughts are not God’s thoughts,
but the most powerful thing I can do for you is pray.

I have fallen.
I have risen.
I have sat in darkness.
I have seen the Sonrise.
The Lord is with me.
I come to Him
I return to Him
I am not perfect
But I am His
His child forever I am.

And because of whom I am in Him,
I can come to Him

 and pray for you.

(based on readings in Micah 7)

(c) June 21-22, 2014