Remembering ...

I was 10 years old.

Going back
in my mind
I can remember ...
that crisp cold December day

It was the 9th
the year was 1961
and I was 10
my sister, 7

We lived on 80 acres,
land farmed
first by my grandpa
and later by tenants
hired by my mother

My parents,
married 18 years,
split two years before,
The year I was 8

Childhood fragmented
Schooldays difficult
Yet only a few
saw my struggles
and even fewer cared
and reached out to me

One I remember, always remember
Though his name long forgotten
I see his face
his offer of friendship
someone to talk to,
to confide in
He was a school counselor
He helped me conquer hurdles
often too big and cumbersome
for me to handle alone

The year I was 7
1958

The following year

Two years later
I was 10
The Christmas season upon us
One more grief to bear
in too few years gone by

It was morning ...
the day my grandpa died

Forever missed
Forever remembered

George Arthur Stoner
July 20, 1880 - Dec. 9, 1961

Psalm 23:4 says,
"Yea, though I walk
through the valley of
the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod (protection)
and Your staff (guidance)
they comfort me." 

I wish
it was the Lord
I had known then
I wish
it was His Presence
I had felt
many years past
He may have been
but so unaware
was I
Yet I am grateful
for His Love
and His Mercy
now upon me
and I pray
for His protection
and His guidance
in the days
ahead.

I pray the steps I take
gazing backward
and marching forward
are those
He desires.

(c) December 9, 2014